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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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By noon, I’m ready to pull my hair out. I mean, Larisa is beautiful and all, with its ancient ruins and the stunning Asclepius Sanctuary, but today? It’s chaos! I take a quick break, step outside, and wow, the view of Mount Olympus is breathtaking. I’m like, “Why can’t every day be like this?” But then, I remember I gotta go back to the madness.

Meet Larissa Crecco